Suicide in Self Defense

"It wasn't my fault, really, I am innocent, see, this is how it happened:

I was working late in the lab on Wednesday night, I had just finished wiring the control harness to the STD(Spatial,Temporal Displacement) platform came on, and deposited a bloody form.

Turning over the body I got what must have been the biggest shock of my life, it was me!!!

I try not to be stupid, and upon confronting my own still warm corpse, decided to get my gun from the bedroom.

Returning to the lab, I put the gun in my belt, and removed the body from the platform, and put it on the floor, with a blanket over it.

Then I went to the phone to call the police, however, while I was still dialing the number, I herd a sound behind me, at the platform.

Whirling, I saw a man, of about my size, holding a gun, bent over the controls! My killer!

Quickly, I pulled out my gun, and fired, twice. The first bullet slammed into his chest, and he fell backwards onto the platform while the second bullet tore into the controls.

With a flash of light, he disappears, and I sit down, to calm my trembling nerves.

A while later, I cross over to check on the damage to the control harness, and slip on his gun, where it fell on the floor. Staggering, I put out my hand for support, and see a flash of light.

Regaining my balance, I lean over the controls to check the damage, but they are in perfect condition!

Too late, I look up to see a man in the corner raise and fire his gun at my chest.

"So you see, your Honor, while technically it was suicide, I maintain that it was not premeditated, or even intentional, but rather suicide in self defense."

Ok... Give me another one...

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